Dane Cook

[Blue_Sherbet]

Does anyone here listen to the comedian Dane Cook?

I just recently started listening to his stuff ^_^ it's quite funny. Don't think he's ever done a tour in the UK though :(

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

i have one of his cds. its the one with the superbleeder and the car accident.

[Blue_Sherbet]

I've downloaded the "Retaliation" ones

He does talk about car accidents in that one ^_^ but I don't think it's the same one you have... the one you have sounds like the one my friend has ^_^

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

I've downloaded the "Retaliation" ones

He does talk about car accidents in that one ^_^ but I don't think it's the same one you have... the one you have sounds like the one my friend has ^_^

No, its the retaliation. i couldnt remember the name of it. its the one with the guy bleeding from his ears and puking shards of his pelvis in the bushes

[Blue_Sherbet]

Is that the one where he introduces himself to the crowd by "we are going to have a comedy relationship tonight" ?

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

i think so, but i know the album art is dane hold the ***. with his arms stretched out and he has this three finger sign in his eye.

[sawprincess115]

i LOVE dane cook!! especially the shark bit he does...he is hot 2!~!~

[Blue_Sherbet]

I wouldn't know the copy I have is a copy from my friend xD

[Blue_Sherbet]

i LOVE dane cook!! especially the shark bit he does...he is hot 2!~!~

Lmao!

I punched it in the face! xD
People get killed by bee's.. it's a fucking bee! I'd punch them all... IN THE FACE

xD

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

sir you are bleeding from the ears. Yeah i know i do that, its tradition in my family. can you excuse me while a ipuke shards of my pelvis on the bush over here. BLUUHHHHH!

[Blue_Sherbet]

Have to say my favourite sketch is the "Drown or Catch Fire" one


"JESUS CHRIST TIMMY!!! Do NOT float above me when I'm dying in the abyss!! John, your son just tried to kill me with his daffy floating thing"

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

"Help some one help me! me house is on fire and my son is screaming". "thats probaly because he is on fire. thats what they do when they are fire, they run around in a circle and scream."

[Blue_Sherbet]

lmao

Is that the one right after where he talks about "you hear the car crash and everyone comes outside... you you you, come on! No you wait for the next group!"

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

Suck My Back!!

[Raze32]

Are you talking about "Harmful If Swallowed" I think thats the name of the CD

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

im just liting stuff that i remember that is by him. some is from retaliation, some is from harmful if swallowed, and others are from some other stand ups he did.

[Jana]

i have one of his cds. its the one with the superbleeder and the car accident.
LOL! I loved the Superbleeder thing.

I have Harmful If Swallowed and Retaliation. My favourite thing by far is the Kool-Aid Man thing. "Yeah, coming through the wall is real fucking cool. USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL! DON'T TOUCH ME YOU DRINK! DON'T TOUCH ME YOU GIANT BEVERAGE! You are sweating or condensating. I will kick you in the tights and you will go down. You're very top heavy."

I laughed for like 15 minutes when I first heard that.

"What if you got to the surface and a big dude just punched you in the face and pushed you back into the water? 'GET BACK IN THE FIERY WATER! COVER UP THAT HOLE WITH SOME FIRE!'"

[SawedOff]

I first saw Dane Cook at the Just For Laughs festival a few years ago. Oh my fucking God, he's hilarious. My best friend and I love him so much, we play all of his stand up performances over and over again. Lol.

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

im listening to creepy old guy right now.

[krazyshyt1126]

dane is great... but not as good as richard pryor, george carlin, or chris rock....

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

he will never beat bill engvaul either, or carlos mencia.

[krazyshyt1126]

hes better than carlos mencia... not as good as bill engvaul

although carlos mencia's "no strings attached" was GREAT

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

i love his new show too, mind of mencia, funny shit...

[Blue_Sherbet]

I have to admit, Chris Rock is teh shit like xD
and by that I don't mean he /is/ shit. I mean he is /the/ shit

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

xD

what is XD?

[Blue_Sherbet]

<img src="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v711/diggy333uk/3b774fde.jpg">

^^ that is what xD is

[modernparanoia]

dane cook is my hero.
his skit with the flying puking dragon was hysterical.

if he ever tours around here, my heart will explode from joy.

[krazyshyt1126]

hahaha that one was great... the puking dragon haha

the other thing i loved was when he was talking about native americans coming back to claim their land and that theyd be 80 feet tall lmao

[modernparanoia]

hahaha that one was great... the puking dragon haha

the other thing i loved was when he was talking about native americans coming back to claim their land and that theyd be 80 feet tall lmao

that one was classic, too. i almost forgot about that one...haha!

my ultimate favorite has to be the christ chex skit.

"start the day off right with christ chex!"

[ogo2k]

oooh man... my friend was giving a sermon at his church and he asked me to come. This was the first time ive been to church since i was like 7 and during the whole communion thing all i could think was
"your move holy man!"

[JigSaw7]

OH MY FUCKING GOD A DANE COOK THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha Dane cook is definatly the man, and way funnier than any comedian I've heard. I think he would be kick ass in a comedy movie starring himself of course....I did hear he was in Waiting? I might see it now knowing that he is in it ;)

My favorite, I'll have to agree with Jana on this one :) Not So Kool Aid is definatly the funniest one hes done.

"You glass bitch, you glass Bastard."
"Oh yea!"
"Oh no! Naughty, naughty Kool Aid."

They are all amazing who am I kidding! When I find out when he is doing a show in NY I'm definatly going. I don't care if I have work lol.

"When you are three feet from the person in front of you, you're in line. You are not in line any more when you are in the pantene
Pro V isle, laying down reading US Weekly. You can't just leave your shoe and walk away for 19 minutes. i kick your shoe away, I say Fuck shoes. Your shoe does not represent you. Not here, nor in the court of law you Son of a B. Sorry to use such...Harsh letters"

"Cutting is like double dutch without the ropes.....I basically just told you what you already knew."

I'll fucking kill you!! haha

[krazyshyt1126]

the best is "THANKS FOR THE CANDY!"

thats my favorite out of all the ones he does



my number 2 would be the nothing fight with the jelly

"I OPENED THE BOX OF ENTAMANS AND BEGAN EATING THE COOKIES OUT OF THE BOX! THATS HOW EXCITING IT WAS!"

"tell this twat to get jelly!"

[countess_von_neverland]

so who is dane cook? My favourite comedian is Lewis Black!

[Hellex]

so who is dane cook? My favourite comedian is Lewis Black!

Omg!!! You never heard of Dane Cook!? He's really funny. He was in the "Insomniac Tour" with Dave Atell.

[The_Mannequin628]

so who is dane cook? My favourite comedian is Lewis Black!

Nice. Another Lewis Black fan, eh?

"I say that we find a president. Not a president who's a democrat. And not a president who's republican. But, a dead president. A president... like Ronald Reagan. Don't give me that! He's perfect! He is one of the few presidents that scared all of the countries in the world... when he was alive. Imagine what he would do when he's dead."

I don't suppose anyone's ever heard of Jimmy Dore?

[countess_von_neverland]

Omg!!! You never heard of Dane Cook!? He's really funny. He was in the "Insomniac Tour" with Dave Atell.
still doesn't ring a bell. I might now of him but not his name. you know?

[Hellex]

still doesn't ring a bell. I might now of him but not his name. you know?

Yeah, I have trouble some times.

[countess_von_neverland]

Nice. Another Lewis Black fan, eh?

"Ronald Reagan is the only president that scared all of the countries in the world... when he was alive. Imagine what he would do when he's dead."

I don't suppose anyone's ever heard of Jimmy Dore?
haven't heard of him but Lewis Black rules!

[Hellex]

haven't heard of him but Lewis Black rules!

Lewis Black is funny! Especially that segment he does on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" that's called "Back in Black". Funny as hell!

[The_Mannequin628]

Here's Lewis Black's bit on Last Laugh '05 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-8KpNwMsxI). I cannot stop watching that.

[Hellex]

Here's Lewis Black's bit on Last Laugh '05 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-8KpNwMsxI). I cannot stop watching that.

That had me cracking up!

[XxAFellowMaggotxX]

so who is dane cook?

go to http://www.youtube.com
and serch for dane cook and it has some of his early works.

[stickytpe]

I <3 him.



W00t! Resurrecting threads for no apparent reason!

[JoE]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

i just watched rough around the edges hahahaha the herpes part loooooooooool

[Samara]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

i just watched rough around the edges hahahaha the herpes part loooooooooool
I also just watched that. XD

I personally loved the whole cake in the fridge/lost part.

:-D

[Nasha]

I have a love/hate relationship with D.C, most of the time I find him funny though.

Fav skits include :

Christ Chex.

Puking Dragon

Suck My Back

The Writing on the bathroom walls. (Mike writes "Mike was here.." then someone comes along and writes "Mike is a as*hole." The Mike comes back, "what the hell! I was here but im not an a**hole! Fu**king Jews!" LMAO)

Kool Aid

B&E's. (No, not bacon and eggs....though they are fu**king delicious!)


:)

[stickytpe]

I was right. Haha.

[samantha]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

i just watched rough around the edges hahahaha the herpes part loooooooooool


Oh my god the "herpolie erpolies" hahaha. My favorite is when he talks about the guy on the homeless children commercials who goes "Top of the evening to you, this is MahGOOGOO" HAHAHAHHA and when he goes "you know you take a girl home, suck a little boobage...and she goes "ow" hahah ommyyygoddd and acts like she's lost and just before you go in she goes "STOP! WHO GOES THERE?! do you have a condom??!" LMFAO.

[lovethatsaw1029]

DANE<3
hehe.

ya know what else is going around?
BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jiowa]

Bah ha ha ha ha.

I love Dane Cook!

He is great.

=0]

[JoE]

Oh my god the "herpolie erpolies" hahaha. My favorite is when he talks about the guy on the homeless children commercials who goes "Top of the evening to you, this is MahGOOGOO" HAHAHAHHA and when he goes "you know you take a girl home, suck a little boobage...and she goes "ow" hahah ommyyygoddd and acts like she's lost and just before you go in she goes "STOP! WHO GOES THERE?! do you have a condom??!" LMFAO.

lmaooo its hilarious cuz its true

[DesQueJ'teVois]

Bump.

This thread deserves to be revived. dane is like the best comedian ever. I just finished watching his 'Harmful if Swallowed' show, bloody hilarious!

[tobinbellpwns]

dane cook.











that man disappoints me.

[DesQueJ'teVois]

c'est terrible.

[Kiley_Rae]

Kyle Cease is better.

[Dark_Puppet365]

c'est terrible.

Your pm box is full jerk!

[tobinbellpwns]

mitch hedberg is the best comedian on the planet.

[Cameron]

We listen to him at work a lot

[DaNerdling]

I used to hate Dane Cook, but now I find him hillarious. The joke that got me was the bit about the atheist believing he will become a tree when he dies, so Dane told him that they will then chop him down and print the Bible on him :D Such a funny man.

Though he could chill out on stage a bit more, the constant moving is a tad distracting.